Ever notice how people transform into pathetic, whimpering puddles when their precious mouth bones start to ache? It's like watching a towering skyscraper of human dignity collapse into a heap of rubble because a microscopic nerve ending decided to throw a tantrum. What's more fascinating is how these mouth prisons we call relationships become perfect little petri dishes for brewing that special strain of hypocrisy that only emerges when pain enters the chat.
First of all, I would like to say that this is ridiculous and not a big deal, but for some reason it became one. I (25F) had an impacted wisdom tooth that was wrapped around a nerve while I was pregnant. I asked him (26M) if he could call the dentist because it hurt to talk. He said no. Now it's 1 year later and he now has an impacted wisdom tooth, and I sympathize with him, but he asked me to call the dentist for him and I said no. His mom is now asking me to call for him. I said no. He's upset about it. Does this make me an asshole?
Edit: I ended up calling anyway because I felt bad
Edit 2: He apologized before I called
Update: Turns out it was his wisdom teeth and an infection so bad it's eating his jaw bone. So now I really do feel bad.
The Existential Dentistry of Human Relationships
Let's dissect this festering abscess of moral theater, shall we? We have two supposedly adult humans playing a game of dental chicken that would make kindergarteners look like fucking Aristotle. She's pregnant—literally creating life—with a wisdom tooth wrapped around her nerve like a python choking its dinner, and Captain Empathy can't pick up a phone because... why exactly? Perhaps dialing digits would somehow detract from his precious schedule of thumb-twiddling and existential mediocrity.
Fast forward through the miracle of birth and the hellscape of early parenting, and suddenly our hero finds himself in the same throbbing predicament. The cosmic irony hangs so heavy in the air you could fucking choke on it. His tooth rebels, and suddenly using a telephone becomes a Herculean task requiring the intervention of his mommy—because nothing says "I'm a capable adult partner" like getting your mother to lobby for basic assistance.
What we're witnessing isn't just a dental disagreement; it's the human condition distilled into a putrid mouthwash of pettiness. Like two ants fighting over a crumb while standing on a highway, these creatures are so absorbed in their insignificant moral accounting that they miss the speeding truck of existential irrelevance barreling toward them.
And then—PLOT TWIST!—she calls anyway, rendering the entire moral standoff as meaningful as a fart in a hurricane. He apologizes beforehand, which is about as useful as sunscreen applied after a third-degree burn. The grand finale? His jaw is literally being eaten away by infection, transforming this pathetic morality play into a grotesque physiological horror show. The universe, in its infinite cruelty, has a way of turning our petty vengeances into monuments to our own stupidity.
The Rotten Wisdom of Fools
What this decaying tableau really exposes isn't just the festering abscess of their relationship, but the hollow cavity at the center of all our moral posturing. We're all just bacteria colonies fighting for dominance on a rotting tooth called life. She felt bad and called anyway—congratu-fucking-lations on achieving the bare minimum of human decency! At least the bacteria consuming his jawbone don't pretend to have moral qualms about their consumption.
The real infection here isn't in his jaw; it's in the gangrenous idea that relationships are transactional battlegrounds where scorecards matter more than compassion. While these two were busy playing dental chicken, the universe was laughing its cosmic ass off, planning to turn his minor concern into a jaw-eating nightmare—because if there's one thing more reliable than human pettiness, it's the universe's sadistic sense of humor.
Summary for Mouth-Breathing Morons
Boy refuses to make phone call for pregnant girlfriend with tooth pain. 🦷😡
Later, boy gets tooth pain and wants girl to call dentist. Girl refuses. 🤬📱
Boy's mommy gets involved because apparently adults are extinct. 👵🙄
Girl calls anyway, discovering boy's jaw is being eaten alive. 🔥💀
Moral: Stop keeping score in relationships unless you're prepared for the universe to shove the scorecard up your infected ass. ⚖️🍑
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