Ever notice how some people will empty their bank accounts for someone who never learned the word "enough"? Like watching a squirrel bury nuts in a garden that's being bulldozed tomorrow. Here we have a spectacular shitshow of cultural reverence colliding with financial common sense, creating the kind of relationship catastrophe that makes divorce lawyers spontaneously orgasm from miles away. It's not just a train wreck—it's a train wreck where the conductor keeps backing up to hit the survivors.
I (29M) am in a relationship with my partner (28M), who comes from a culture where parents are seen as infallible and can ask for anything without question.
When we decided to move to another country, my partner's parents generously helped fund the move. Over time, we managed to pay them back, and even more than what they initially contributed. My partner's mother regularly asks for money for things like bills, office trips, or even luxury items like a new iPhone. This started as small, occasional requests, but it's been ongoing for three years now. I initially managed to convince myself that it's fine and a little sum won't hurt, but lately it's really wearing me down.
For context, we've also covered other expenses, like paying for legal fees for my partner's dad when he got into trouble, sending money for birthdays, and even paying for my partner's brother's migration fees which ended up being a waste of money. Not to mention money for chemotherapy (his mom HAD cancer but is fine now) and random funds being sent for their afternoon tea.
I've tried talking to my partner multiple times about setting boundaries with his family. I've explained that this constant financial support is draining, and that if we continue like this, his dreams of buying a new car or a house won't be possible. He kept telling me he has dreams, which I sometimes hate when it turns into a rant about how the cost of living has been getting worse. I've suggested he have a conversation with his mom to set some limits on how often they ask for money. However, he refuses to do this and says that I'm in the wrong, that we should separate our finances.
AITA for refusing to keep sending money to his family?
The Existential Autopsy
Let's dissect this festering corpse of fiscal responsibility, shall we? Our protagonist—I'll call him Financial Fuckwit—has found himself trapped in the most elaborate protection racket since the mob discovered waste management. "Pay us or we'll make our son feel bad" is quite the business model. Brilliant, really. Absolutely fucking diabolical.
The parents "generously" funded their move abroad—that classic opening move in the endless chess game of parental control. Like giving someone the first hit of heroin for free, knowing they'll be back with their wallet open and dignity abandoned. And Financial Fuckwit not only paid them back but paid EXTRA, which in the cosmic joke of existence is like thanking your mugger by leaving a tip.
The mother has mastered the art of the grift so thoroughly she could teach masterclasses at Trump University. Bills? Send money. Office trips? Send money. New iPhone? Send money. Afternoon fucking TEA? SEND MONEY. It's as if ATMs evolved arms, legs, and crushing guilt complexes.
What's truly magnificent about this carousel of financial abuse is how cancer—CANCER!—becomes just another prop in this theater of moral extortion. "Mom HAD cancer but is fine now." Translation: "We've discovered an inexhaustible resource called Your Guilt that we can mine indefinitely." That's not family support; that's emotional fracking.
And our dear partner—this spineless ambassador of filial piety—suggests separating finances rather than confronting mommy dearest. What breathtaking courage! What innovative problem-solving! It's like watching someone "solve" a house fire by closing the bedroom door while continuing to flick lit matches at the curtains.
In the vast, meaningless void of human relationships, this pattern repeats with the depressing predictability of a Michael Bay explosion: people will justify any exploitation by gift-wrapping it in the shiny paper of "tradition" or "culture." As if cultural differences magically transform financial parasitism into virtue. It's remarkable how "respecting culture" always seems to benefit the person not writing the checks.
The Terminal Prognosis
The tragedy here isn't the money—it's the delusion that this is somehow temporary or solvable. Like thinking quicksand will eventually get bored and let you go. Financial Fuckwit isn't asking if they're an asshole; they're begging for permission to stop being a human ATM that dispenses both cash and apologies for having boundaries.
The existential horror isn't just watching your savings evaporate; it's realizing that some relationships are just elaborate financial transactions disguised as love. The partner doesn't want compromise; they want the comfortable illusion that they can please mommy and daddy while pretending to be an independent adult—all funded by someone else's labor.
In the cosmic joke that is human existence, Financial Fuckwit is just another punchline waiting to be delivered, standing at the crossroads of financial ruin and emotional manipulation, wondering which will kill them first.
For Morons Who Skip To The End
Partner's family treats your wallet like an all-you-can-eat buffet 🍽️. They've taken money for everything from cancer treatments to afternoon tea 🍵 while you watch your dreams of financial stability circle the drain 🚽. Your partner refuses to set boundaries because "culture" 🙄 and suggests separating finances instead of growing a spine 🦴. Either accept your role as the family cash piñata 💰 or get the fuck out before you're living in a cardboard box while they're unboxing new iPhones 📱. The universe is cold and meaningless, but at least cardboard boxes don't ask for money.
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