Ever notice how the most insidious power grabs don't happen in presidential palaces or corporate boardrooms, but in the mind-numbing tedium of apartment building councils? The banal fucking evil of democracy's demise, playing out not on CNN but between units 3B and 4F. Two geriatric masterminds—we'll call them Darth Arthritis and Emperor Depends—have orchestrated a bloodless coup that would make Vladimir Putin reach for his notepad. And yet, here we are, questioning if fighting back makes YOU the villain. Because apparently, once you qualify for the senior discount at Denny's, you also earn immunity from consequences for your actions.
So, I (Male, 30s) live in a mid-sized apartment building with a pretty standard setup: there's a building council that oversees maintenance, budget, administrative stuff, etc. Everything went relatively smoothly until two elderly neighbors — let's call them C and M (both in their 60s-70s) — decided to make the building their personal chessboard.
Mike and Mod got themselves voted onto the council this year, but not exactly by the book. They took over the annual assembly as "president" and "secretary" of the session (despite not being neutral parties), changed the voting rules mid-meeting, and ignored every objection that didn't suit them. The official minutes that came out later? Full of omissions and lies — including a claim that the vote for the council (which they now sat on) was unanimous. Spoiler: it wasn't. I was the only one actually voted in through real consensus.
Since then, they've overstepped their role over and over — publishing official documents before they were even registered with local authorities, acting on behalf of the building without authorization, and most recently trying to get me to sign off on a contract "as a council" without even involving the building's administrator. That's illegal where we live.
Earlier this year, C also made a completely false claim that the community could be subject to asset seizures due to a pending labor lawsuit — again, not how the law works. I'm fairly certain that was meant to scare everyone into letting them settle things without review or transparency.
I tried to handle things quietly. I've been patient. I've offered peaceful ways out. But now? I've filed a lawsuit to challenge the legitimacy of the assembly minutes and their actions. I'm also preparing a full public report to the community, detailing everything — and yes, it names names.
I've been told I'm being petty, or cruel — that they're elderly and maybe they didn't mean harm. But at some point, "not meaning harm" still leads to serious consequences. They've lied, manipulated, and acted like they were above oversight. The community deserves the full truth.
Am I the asshole for going full transparency mode and dragging them publicly (and legally) after trying to keep things civil for months?
TL;DR: Two elderly neighbors hijacked the building council through sketchy means, lied in the official records, overstepped their legal authority multiple times, and spread misinformation. After months of trying to handle it quietly, I filed a lawsuit and went public with the receipts. Now some say I'm being mean to old folks. Am I the asshole?
The Bureaucratic Shitshow Dissection
Let's peel back the layers of this festering onion of human absurdity. Two walking fossils—who probably complain about "participation trophies" while sharing Facebook minion memes—have essentially declared themselves the divine rulers of your mid-sized apartment building. They hijacked an annual meeting with all the subtlety of a rhinoceros in a china shop, installed themselves as judge, jury, and executioner, then rewrote history faster than Stalin's favorite photo editor.
The minutes claim "unanimous" support—a word that has lost all fucking meaning, much like "organic" or "I'll call you back." It's the bureaucratic equivalent of a child scribbling "EVERYONE LOVES ME" on the walls with crayon while the house burns down around them. The only unanimity here was the collective sigh of resignation from residents too beaten down by existence to protest.
These geriatric Machiavellis aren't just power-hungry—they're incompetent too, the most dangerous combination since tequila and text messaging. They're publishing documents before they're legally registered, like releasing a sex tape before signing the consent forms. They're trying to get contracts signed without the administrator, which isn't just illegal—it's stupid on a cosmic scale, like trying to perform brain surgery with salad tongs after watching a YouTube tutorial.
And let's not forget the fear-mongering. Nothing sends middle-class property owners into a panic spiral like threatening asset seizure. It's manipulation so transparent you could use it as a fucking window, yet it works because humans are essentially hairless apes with mortgage anxiety and Amazon Prime accounts.
The cosmic joke here is that you tried to be reasonable—the universe's cruelest prank on the self-aware. You offered "peaceful solutions" in a reality where peace is just the temporary absence of conflict, like the brief silence between a lightning flash and the thunderclap that follows. You treated cancer with a fucking Band-Aid and then wondered why it spread.
The Void Stares Back
So now you've gone nuclear—lawsuits, public shaming, the whole nine yards of human retribution theater. And suddenly YOU'RE the bad guy for not respecting your elders? Fuck that sideways with a rusty chainsaw. Age is just the slow accumulation of time's indifference to your existence, not a get-out-of-accountability-free card.
The truly hilarious part is how this microcosm of human governance perfectly reflects our larger societal delusions. We create these pitiful structures—councils, boards, governments—believing they'll somehow transcend the base nature of the creatures who run them. It's like expecting wolves to fairly distribute sheep among the flock.
Your neighbors now clutch their pearls at your "cruelty," as if exposing truth were more violent than perpetuating lies. They've fallen for the greatest con of human civilization: that social harmony matters more than justice. It's the moral equivalent of putting a smiley-face sticker over the check engine light and declaring the car fixed.
Summary for the Cognitively Fucked
Two ancient assholes 👴👵 stole control of your building council through lies and manipulation 🐍, ran around breaking rules like toddlers on meth 💊, and spread bullshit scarier than campfire stories 🔥. You tried being nice 🙂 but they kept being dicks 🍆, so you're suing them and exposing their crusty asses publicly 📱⚖️. Now people think YOU'RE mean for not letting elderly crooks get away with it 🤦♂️. Moral of the story: Age doesn't cure asshole, it just wrinkles it. 💯
Comments
Post a Comment