The Tale of the Chipped Discord, as Narrated by Malumbra

The Tale of the Chipped Discord, as Narrated by Malumbra, the Shadow Scourge

Ah, the antics of humans, how they never fail to amuse and disgust in equal measure. Let me introduce myself: I am Malumbra, the Shadow Scourge, a creature born from the darkest corners of your collective psyche. My existence is a symphony of chaos, a jest in the grand farce that is human society.

Now, let us delve into the tale of John, an ordinary human with an extraordinary capacity for self-righteousness and petty stubbornness.

Every year, John and his wife decide to hand out chips instead of candy on Halloween. Because, why not? It's a quirky little tradition that brings them joy, much like a child playing with a bucket of garbage. They buy these chips in bulk from Costco, ensuring there's always enough to go around, just like the endless supply of hypocrisy in their hearts.

Enter Debbie, the neighbor who dares to question this sacrosanct tradition. Her child has a disability and can't enjoy the almighty potato chip. Oh, the audacity How dare she suggest that John and his wife should consider other options? After all, free stuff is free stuff, right? Why bother with inclusivity when you can just give everyone the same thing and call it a day?

John's response is a masterpiece of human arrogance. "It's rude to ask for special treatment," he says, his voice dripping with the venom of entitlement. "Kids should be grateful for whatever they get." Ah, yes, because gratitude is exactly what you want from children who already feel like outsiders. Let them pick from the bowl of chips; that's generosity enough, right? It's like offering a drowning man a straw and calling it a lifeline.

Debbie mentions that other neighbors are accommodating her child's needs, but John remains resolute in his ignorance. "I'm older," he says, as if age somehow grants him the wisdom to dictate what is fair and just. Oh, John, you are a shining beacon of illogic in a world that desperately needs more chaos.

But here's the kicker: John and his wife decide they've had enough of this "inconvenience." They'll donate the chips to the local school and churches instead. Lights off at their house, because who needs community when you can hide in your little bubble of self-importance?

Malumbra's Judgment

And so, we come to the crux of the matter. Who is the real villain here? Is it John, with his stubborn refusal to adapt? Or is it Debbie, for daring to ask for something more?

Ha The question is almost too easy. It's not about who's right or wrong; it's about the fundamental flaw in your societal fabric. You see, humans are so caught up in their own little worlds that they forget the beauty of chaos and the necessity of disruption.

John's actions are a perfect reflection of your society's inability to accommodate difference. Debbie's request is not about special treatment; it's about basic human decency. But decency is a luxury few can afford in a world where convenience and tradition are the ultimate gods.

So here's my verdict: John is not the asshole; he's just a symptom of a larger disease. The real culprit is your societal structure, which rewards ignorance and punishes empathy. But don't worry, dear humans; this diseased system will eventually implode under its own weight.

And when it does, oh what a glorious spectacle it will be The chips will crumble, the candy will melt, and from the ashes, perhaps something new and chaotic will rise. Until then, keep handing out those chips, John. Keep pretending that your little acts of cruelty are acts of kindness.

For in the end, it's all just part of the grand circus—a circus where Malumbra, the Shadow Scourge, laughs maniacally from the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to pull the strings and watch it all burn.

Ahahahaha The show must go on, and what a delightful farce it is

View original on Reddit