Skip to main content

10 Ways Privileged Adults at Resorts Are Being Victimized by Teenagers That Will Blow Your Mind



Ever notice how people shell out obscene amounts of money just to avoid being within splashing distance of someone who hasn't yet developed their frontal lobe? Like rats in a maze pressing buttons for cocaine, we've somehow convinced ourselves that paying "hundreds extra per night" will create an invisible force field around our precious relaxation space—a magical barrier that repels anyone whose voice might still crack occasionally. It's fucking hilarious when you think about it. Here we are, balancing on this wet rock hurtling through endless space, and somehow we've decided that the hill to die on is whether a teenager can put his feet in the same chlorinated piss-water as our sacred adult bodies.


Me (31F) and my husband (34M) paid quite a bit extra per night to have a room at a resort in Costa Rica with a swim-up room. This section of rooms in particular are the only "adult only" spaces in the resort. While we were lounging on our chairs in front of the room in the pool, we saw a couple of rooms down a couple with a 13-15 year old boy with them. There are several signs around the pool indicating it's adults only. Didn't say anything that day. Yesterday the boy was in the adult only pool again snorkeling in their section. He really wasn't bothering us, but it bothered me that we paid hundreds of dollars extra per night for this space and there's ~5 other pools at the resort that are kid friendly. AITA for asking if he was 18 and when they confirmed he wasn't, I asked if we could respect the adults-only rules because of the extra cost?

Source


The Existential Swim-Up Bar

Let's wade into this festering puddle of first-world problems, shall we? This couple paid a premium—the modern-day indulgence to absolve themselves of the sin of proximity to youth—only to discover that money can't actually buy happiness or, apparently, enforcement of arbitrary age restrictions at tropical resorts. The true comedy isn't the teenager snorkeling where he doesn't belong; it's the adults who've constructed an entire moral framework around their "right" to not see adolescents while they slowly pickle their livers with overpriced daiquiris.

The couple's outrage is a perfect microcosm of our desperate attempt to compartmentalize existence into neat little sections: children here, adults there, as if we're all not just temporary arrangements of atoms pretending that our divisions mean something. Their conflict isn't about rules—it's about the fundamental human delusion that we can purchase our way out of the chaos of existence. That resort pool is just another stage where we perform our little plays of moral indignation, like Shakespeare characters prancing around in dollar-store costumes.

And what about this teenager? This... checks notes... 13-15 year old menace whose crime is breathing the same air and floating in the same water as our protagonists? He's not stealing their wallets or blasting Lizzo at full volume—he's snorkeling. Probably looking at fish or his own reflection, wondering why adults are such massive pricks about everything. The couple says "he really wasn't bothering us," which translates in any language to "we had to manufacture something to be upset about because contentment makes us uncomfortable."

It's like paying extra for the "no crying babies" section of a plane only to discover that sound, much like the existential dread that haunts us all, doesn't respect arbitrary boundaries drawn by resort marketers. The sheer fucking audacity of believing that your economic transaction should reshape reality around your preferences is both pathetic and goddamn quintessentially human.

The Chlorinated Abyss Gazes Back

In the end, what we have here is a cosmic joke where everyone thinks they're the punchline. The couple believes they're being reasonable—after all, rules are rules, and they paid for those rules to benefit them. The parents with the teenager probably think they're being reasonable too—after all, their precious spawn wasn't harming anyone. And the resort staff? Those poor bastards caught in between, forced to mediate disputes between entitled assholes because capitalism demands we pretend customer satisfaction matters in a universe spiraling toward heat death.

The real asshole isn't the couple or the teenager or even the resort for failing to enforce its own bullshit policies. The real asshole is the collective human delusion that any of this matters. That somehow, the sanctity of an "adults-only" swimming pool ranks anywhere on the scale of cosmic significance. We're all just monkeys with credit cards, flinging our shit at each other in increasingly sophisticated ways.

Summary for Knuckle-Dragging Morons

Rich couple 🤑 pays extra for no-kid zone at fancy resort 🏝️. Teenager 👦 shows up anyway. Couple whines about rules ⚠️ being broken. Nobody gives a fuck 🖕. We're all going to die someday ☠️, and this is what you're worried about? The universe continues expanding into oblivion regardless of who's allowed in what swimming pool 🌊. Get over yourselves.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Elderly Dictator Olympics: When Boomers Go Full Fascist and Nobody Gives a Shit

 Ever notice how the most insidious power grabs don't happen in presidential palaces or corporate boardrooms, but in the mind-numbing tedium of apartment building councils? The banal fucking evil of democracy's demise, playing out not on CNN but between units 3B and 4F. Two geriatric masterminds—we'll call them Darth Arthritis and Emperor Depends—have orchestrated a bloodless coup that would make Vladimir Putin reach for his notepad. And yet, here we are, questioning if fighting back makes YOU the villain. Because apparently, once you qualify for the senior discount at Denny's, you also earn immunity from consequences for your actions. So, I (Male, 30s) live in a mid-sized apartment building with a pretty standard setup: there's a building council that oversees maintenance, budget, administrative stuff, etc. Everything went relatively smoothly until two elderly neighbors — let's call them C and M (both in their 60s-70s) — decided to make the building their ...

10 Shocking Truths About Friendship That Will Make You Trust No One Ever Again

 Ever notice how people say friendship is a two-way street, but nobody mentions it's also a fucking highway to hell paved with the corpses of good intentions? That's because humans are fundamentally deranged creatures who construct elaborate façades of connection while plotting each other's emotional murders. Today's pitiful exhibit: two supposed "friends" of twenty years destroying their relationship faster than Netflix cancels a show with actual substance. Hi everyone. I (29F) recently went on a roadtrip with my friend (30F) of over 20 years. While only 2 days into a 10 day trip, we got into a fight. We spent the night apart but ended up making up the next day and decided together to continue and try to communicate better. Shortly after we made up though, I asked her if I could take a nap in the car while she did some driving toward our next destination. She said no problem. When I woke up, I noticed we were not going in the right direction. We were ...

Helicopter Parents Seek Free Labor Supervisor for Adult Son: A Modern Love Story From Hell

 Ever notice how some parents treat their adult son's girlfriend like an unpaid project manager for their failed parenting? There she stands, this 23-year-old woman, making more money than her boyfriend, yet somehow expected to wipe his metaphorical ass because mommy and daddy can't cut the fucking umbilical cord. What we're witnessing isn't a relationship—it's an elaborate transfer of ownership disguised as love, a cosmic joke playing out on the stage of suburban mediocrity where nobody gets the punchline except the universe itself, which is laughing so hard it's pissing dark matter. I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend Josh (29M) for 2 years. We live together as well. Recently, his parents have started asking me to get him to do things. "Make sure Josh goes to the dentist for his cracked tooth," or "Make sure Josh updates his passport," or "Make sure Josh changes his pet food for his cat. We don't like the brand," or ...